Whiskey Lullaby
by GleeGirl95
Summary: After "The Break Up" No one had known how much they blamed each ...until it was too late. I sucks at summaries. Just read.


**AN: Takes place right after "The Break Up". Please review. : )**

* * *

**She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette  
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin' to forget**

Finn watched her walk away. He thought he'd spend the rest of his life with this girl but he never thought that when he left she would move on so quickly. What did this other guy have that he didn't? His heart felt like it went through a paper shredder.

He walked to his car and drove to the nearest bar. He bought a whiskey and sat down. He put the cup to his lips and took a swig. It didn't erase the memory but it did dull it. Five more shots later and Rachel was still a fuzzy memory.

**We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time  
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind  
**

His parents were concerned. So were his friends. They tried to stop his drinking but he would just act like he wouldn't drink again then when they weren't looking he'd sneak off to the nearest bar.

He swung the girl in his arms. She was laughing and giggling at him. Then as she looked him in the eyes he saw _his_ girl. Rachel. She was smiling at him as she laughed and flashed him her mega watt smile.

He stumbled back in surprise. The real girl's face came back but he got up and stumbled his way to the door. He kept bumping into chairs and people.

A hand went around his shoulder as Puck helped him to his feet.

"Come on dude." Puck said. "We need to get you home."

Puck dropped him off at his house. He told him he had to get home to his girlfriend. Finn collapsed on his couch. Puck placed a trashcan by the couch and left.

"At least you have a girlfriend." Finn thought bitterly.

**Until the night**

**He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger  
And finally drank away her memory**

He stumbled to his room. Pulling open his dresser and pulled out his gun. He wrote a quick note that told the reason for his impending death. He stumbled over to his bed and lay down and pulled the picture from the nightstand. Her smiling face seemed to mock him. He knew there was only one way to get her out of his mind. He put the gun to his head as he held the picture to his chest. Then he pulled the trigger.

**Life is short, but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees**

Puck banged on his best friends door. This was the fourth time he was late. Their boss said if he didn't get Finn to their work he'd be fired.

No answer.

"Finn, GET UP!" He yelled.

There was no response. Rolling his eyes he found the spare key under a lose brick and unlocked the door. Slipping inside he was surprised to find the house so quiet. Normally Finn would leave something on. Finn never could stand how quiet his house was at night. Finn hated quiet.

Puck walked to his friend's room. He threw open the door and the sickening sight before him made him stumble back.

**We found him with his face down in the pillow**

Finn was face first in the pillow. His head had a huge hole in it as the blood was spattered on the other wall

**With a note that said, 'I'll love her till I die.'**

Puck didn't want to get closer but his feet pulled him into the room. He saw he had a note in his hand. Picking it up he read it.

'I'll love her till I die.'

Puck teared up. He should have known he would never get over Rachel. He should have done more to help him. Reluctantly he turned him over. Pressed against his chest was a picture of his soul mate. Rachel Berry.

Two days later was the funeral. Everyone from Glee club was there. Well, everyone except one. As the diva walked in she could feel all eyes on her. She could almost hear the thoughts of Finn's family.

'That's the girl. That's the one that drove Finn crazy enough to kill himself.'

She faced her head to the floor and walked over to a corner and sat down. They buried him under an old willow tree. She could even feel the accusing glares of her old teammates on her.

**And when we buried him beneath the willow  
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby**

We sang Amazing Grace. Finn's family told the Glee club they sang like angels. But they acted like I was a ghost. Unseen and uncared for.

**The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself**

Even back in New York she heard the rumors. Kurt tried to talk in the other room when he was talking to Mrs. Hudson-Hummel but she still could hear every stab at her.

"You know it's that _Berry's _fault." Now she wasn't Rachel. She was Berry. "If _she_ didn't break Finn's heart he'd still be here."

**For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath**

Rachel finally moved out a month later. She told Kurt she just needed time on her own. But really she was tired of Mrs. Hudson-Hummel's late night rants about her.

When she got settled in she found a bottle of whiskey hidden under the kitchen sink. Whoever had lived here must have loved to drink.

Instead of unpacking she grabbed the bottle. She sat against the cabinets and took a swig. The alcohol burned her through but she wanted to stop thinking about him so she pushed back her head and downed a quarter of the bottle.

**She finally drank her pain away a little at a time  
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind**

She pushed the bottle to her lips and took another swig before taking the man's hand and let him lead her onto the dance floor. She twirled and spun as he laughed. But suddenly his face change. Finn was glaring back at her.

She stumbled back. The man called for her but she ran and she didn't stop till she was behind her apartment door. Sighing she grabbed her whiskey bottle and stumbled to her room.

**Until the night**

**She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger**

She walked over to her nightstand and pulled it out. She had taken it from her dads. They wouldn't miss it. They only got the gun to keep her safe when they were gone. She lay down on her bed. She picked up the picture and smiled at the goofy grin staring back at her. It was he fault. She knew that. The world would be better if she was gone. She put the gun to her head. The last thing she felt was the cold metal.

**And finally drank away his memory  
Life is short, but this time it was bigger  
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees  
We found her with her face down in the pillow**

"Rachel, I know you don't want to go out but you need too." Kurt called through her door. He rolled his eyes as he didn't get a response. He wouldn't let her mope around her house today so he slipped in her unlocked door.

He made a metal note to lecture her about the dangers of an unlocked front door in New York.

He made his way to her room. He was to the door when he felt something. The doorknob was cold. It was something little but it reminded him of years ago when Puck told them how he found Finn. He begged himself to be wrong as he turned the knob.

When he opened his eyes he started to sob. Rachel was lying motionless in her bed. In her right hand was a gun. Her eyes stared up at the ceiling as an old tear mark stood out on her pale skin.

**Clinging to his picture for dear life**

Finn's picture from the bedside table was now lay clutched to her chest. He wondered how long she had tormented herself by seeing his face every night before she went to bed.

**We laid her next to him beneath the willow**

She was laid to rest by her soul mate. It was unanimously decided that she should be lay forever by his side. Those who had glared at her at Finn's funeral were now feeling the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Everyone knew she was a good actress but it was silently decided she had done her best performance at Finn's funeral. She had hid her guilt at the funeral so well that no one had seen the pain and self loathing in her eyes. No one had known how much she blamed herself...until it was to late.

**While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby**


End file.
